On The Record

Now I know how pee got into the snow

What's up, true Americans!! Now, I don't have much experience in snow inclement weather. But I think you learn really quick that you don't want to be out side in it for too long. So when this kind of weather sent our office packing to get home before the true blizzard showed up.  You realize you have to find something to entertain yourself real quick. And there is nothing that makes you smarter quicker then alcohol. I swear, I went to the store to stock up on things I thought I might need to get through if this keeps up. Like water, candles, batteries, and what not. And I see a lot of other dudes stocking up on booze. 

(This is what happens when you mix a winter wonder land and a loaded boozer.) 

Now I know that all drunks are not so romantic in the snow. And this is how we get yellow snow. There is nothing more relieving, more human than to bring beauty and nature down a peg then peeing in the snow when you drunk. I mean, really, what is it about just letting mother nature run her course. But then again, there is nothing that is more of a rush to the head then to down a few and get the blood going, especially when it's cold outside. And I have to say, not all is bad, it's pretty fun to have a snow ball fight, or to build a snow man. But when you have a lot of dudes living in the same area, those things just seem gay. No doubt, tomorrow, we will probably see people out and about trying to get around in all this. But for tonight, I say, have a drink and get warm. You don't have to go pee in the snow, but if you do, try to dot your i's and cross your t's. ADR continues!!! 

We are for Team Jacob

We at ADR were not into this saga when it first came out. In fact, we thought it was down right stupid. The first film of this saga, Twilight, was nothing that really caught our eyes. It seemed all so preposterous that a new girl showing up to a new town and find out like over night that vampires were living among the locals. On top of this, one of the vamps was this cute loner. She falls in love with him, and some how, he fights off his need to kill her by sucking her blood dry. We were not impressed by this one bit, seeing that we are big fans of the film Lost Boys. 

Now there is this hot chic that I know, and every time I see this film, I think of her. She is the real Star. True that.  

(Star is hot, unlike Bella, who looks like a small elf boy)

Now with the arrival of New Moon, after further review, we here at ADR are getting into all of the hype. Don't get us wrong, the vampires are creepy as hell, bordering on gayness. But the introduction of the love triangle between Bella, Edward, and Jacob is what gets us. 

(Even though Jacob is Bella's second fiddle, he can still kick Edward's ass)

And this is what we like about it all. Love is a strange and powerful thing. And in this situation, to find yourself in love with a wolf and vampire, you might want to rethink your choice of men. Now if you have ever loved someone that didn't love you in the same way back, then you'd understand what it is to be Jacob. Jacob is the underdog in this all.  And even though he might be the better suitor for Bella, she is more in love with Edward. I think age has a lot to do with it. Seeing that poor Jake is younger. But he could say all the right things, but she's just not that into him. And that's a shame. But we here at ADR are pulling for you, dawg. Cause if it came down to it, you could take Edward. 

So for all of you that believe in the underdog, jump on board. Ed might be able to read minds, but it seems like he not a great fighter. How the hell is he suppose to protect anything. Either way, this is not going to end well. And we base all this on not reading the books, which we care not to.  ARD out!! 

 

I bend without breaking

It seems the older I get, the more I have to let go of. It's gotten so bad, I have had to start a secret life for things I think I'm missing out on. Sometimes I feel like a lost boy. I wonder what the hell is going on when we are all struggling to get by, and yet the market place still pushes items on us like a fleece wrap with your favorite sports team logo on it. 

I recently read a book called super freakonomics. There are so many mad science experiments our there that we haven't even tried to tap into to solve a lot of our modern day problems like global warming. I really thing we can solve the conflict in Afghanistan and Iraq just by sending a lot of Girls Gone Wild DVDs to our enemies. You can't hate a nice pair of breast. I don't care who you are. 

I'm not going to tell you who to love, or what you should be doing. I can't even tell myself that, but I will tell you to laugh when you can. I swear it helps. ADR continues... 

The Top Five........

This is a new segment that hopefully will be come a regular staple here on ADR every Wednesday. We call it The Top Five. These entries could pertain to a different array of subjects and topics as the way we rank them here at ADR. Please feel free to e-mail with comments and ideas. This weeks Top Five is The Top Five Famous Women named Jennifer.

5. Jennifer Connelly

What a classic beauty and one of the hottest brunettes out there. It gonna be harder to five a better number five.

4. Jennifer Garner

 Mrs. Afflec can beat me anytime she wants.

3. Jennifer Lopez

This latin beauty is still number one in many latinos minds. I would have a hard time disagreeing.

2. Jennifer Love Hewitt

 As my little one's favorite cartoon character would say" WOW,WOW, WOW!"

1. Jennifer Aniston

 Brad Pitt's ex is still hot and in our opinion the Top Jennifer, no questions asked! 

ADR out

The Beating that is the Jack-O-Lantern.

It's as common as turkey on Thanksgiving, or Santa Clause at Christmas time. It the is the symbol for Halloween. It is the Jack-O-Lantern, or as we like to call it, the Pumpkin. It is a time honored tradition to carve out a Pumpkin just as making cookies are to leave out for Santa Clause on Christmas Eve. I remember as a kid wanting to carve funny faces on my pumpkin. What I didn't realize is the mess we would make and all the hassle of cleaning the pumpkin guts and all those damn seeds. You don't care when your a kid because it is fun getting to get a knife to shank a helpless orange pumpkin. Then getting your hands all dirty with the stringy, sticky, smelly pumpkin. Getting to get a candle and lighter and light up your pumpkin.

Of course you would proudly display your awesome pumpkin on your porch and one of two things would happen with your pumpkin. Some young punks would come along and smash your Jack-o-lantern ( I would know because I was one of those terrible punks) or it would rot from being outside for so long. The flies and the mold would always be a dead give away that it was time to get rid of that pumpkin or sooner or later the smell would get to overpowering that it would stain the concrete. I now realize the Jack-o-lantern is a severe beating. I don't think the reward is worth all the effort. But I guess that is what you have to deal with when messing with tradition. We have come a long way from where the concept of the Jack-o-lantern. The origins have been traced back to the Irish. They would carve turnips and display them to welcome loved ones who had passed. Well I am pretty sure that was so much fun back then because what the hell else were you gonna do. Entertainment isn't what it is now and I could be watching ESPN or a movie or blogging. Instead of cutting up a pumpkin with my little one who could give a crap because she wants to watch WOW WOW WUBBZY. My suggestion for all those who are thinking about doing this. Save yourself the hassle and order a custom carved pumpkin on line from a professional and take all the credit for it. Then sit back in your seat with a cold beer and cut on the Sportscenter. ADR out.

How come your not creative writing

Now I know a lot of you dudes and dudetts out there in America love writing. And there are some that wish they could, but don't really know how to go about doing it. Some may think you have to be this intellectual type to write something of worth. I am here to tell you, this is not true. If there is one thing that our beautiful country proclaims is your freedom of speech noted in our dear constitution. We are all at liberty to speak our minds, doesn't always mean others will listen, but creative writing isn't just about having your words published for a generic audience that may not understand what you want to say to the world.

To understand what you may or may not know about creative writing, we have to drop some knowledge on you. It is anything that is self-expression. Meaning, if you are composing anything outside the realm of professional, journalistic, or academic, then you maybe a creative writer.

I love it, in fact, I encourage all you out there in ADR land to get the ball rolling, and start writing yourself. Who knows, you may be the next creative writer for Family Guy, everyone knows that show needs someone on there to be funny.

Check out my old blog postings on my Myspace page. And I hope to hear from you, America, on your ventures into the wonderful world of creative writing... ADR out!! Download Index[1]

Who is the real winner when Gen Petraeus takes on the world

ADRer's I wrote this a while back, but it still holds true today. After extensive research, it is still widely known that David Petraeus is one bad ass motherf#@ker that even Samuel L Jackson wouldn't want to meet in a dark ally. The awesome part about it all is he will do it with a smile on his face. I don't know if the guy is pure evil or just a superman among regular humans like you and me. I had to match up this guy against fictitious people that don't even exist, and I still had a hard time proving my point that Petraeus could be beat. So if you think Kimbo Slice packs a punch, I don't think he would stand a chance against ol' Davy boy blue eyes. Pre pair to find out the facts for yourself, and write back at us. We love General Patraeus because he is a real American, and a hero to our nation. Plus he could wipe your ass, and come up with a way to make it all better through the art of counterinsurgency. God bless America that we have this guy on our side. ADR out!!!
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Getting Old Sucks!

Getting old really sucks. They say you attain more wisdom as you get older but at what cost. I remember when getting up in the morning didn't used to be so hard. My bones didn't ache and my muscles were never this sore. One day of trying to recapture those long forgotten days of my youth now cost me about a week of pain to recover. I could run for hours on end and go out drinking until 2:00 a.m. in the morning and be ready to go to work at 6:00 a.m. Now one night of drinking will put me out of commission the next day. Hang overs are alot worse and cramps are more likely to happen. But hey I am smarter or should I say wiser. I remember when I would feel like this in the morning.

(Brad Pitt in Fight Club)

Now a days I feel like this when I look in the mirror in the morning.

(Brad Pitt in The Curious Case of Benjamin Buttons)

But hey I guess you are only as old as you feel.  ADR out.

   

The world of sports and science

What up, yo. If you ever get bored and your scientific mind gets to wandering. What a better way to correlate this fact finding form with the world of sports. Now, you may think of scientist working in labs getting friendly with animals, and eating grilled cheese sandwiches cooked by a bunsen burner, but these guys have got it right. How awesome to explore scientific theories then with the fantastic feats of top athletes. The show is called Sports Science and each show they put science to the test as top athletes display the amazing skills they do day in and day out in their respective field of play. Could you do any better to get the masses interested in that crap you fell asleep in during high school. Plus you get to see the train reck of some of these geeks going up against top players. It's like Joes vs. Pros only with the making of better TV. So brake it off some, and check it out. ADR continues... Download Jenkins-will-conduct-some-sports-science[1]

Why I want to cheat death

I don't know about you, but every now and then I come across a story that reminds me just how old I am and the concept of facing aging. Along with this idea, comes my fantasy of staying young forever. Which always leads to me coming up with ideas of becoming a vampire, or even a making a time machine to beat the hell out of time. But one thing I would never want to be is a werewolf, cause all that hair just isn't in right now. Maybe back in the eighties, I'll just have to wait til comes back in to fashion. No shit, teen-wolf got me thinking about it. Now I know this isn't what the good Dr. Gupta is talking about, but that shit would be cool. Some thing I found interesting in his story is that people are out there cheating death, and how medical science is trying to come up with answers on how you can too. These outstanding explanations of how some day you could be having a heart-attack, and live to fight off, and return to your life just as normal as the day before you attack. Just remember to have lots of ice around, maybe stuff it in your pocket just in case you decide to have one. Check it out, or not... Party on, ADRers. Download Story[1]