On The Record

You can't kill the Rooster

Every now and then, I like to read books for fun, I mean who does that. For fun anyway. Really, I don't know where literature has gone to. I do know when a book gets a lot of publicity it always seems after the fact that it has become a film. Some people have to be avid readers or forget about it, the art of literature is dead. Because, if your anything like me, reading a book every once and a blue moon, I just don't see it happening. 

So when I find a great writer, I love telling others about the amazing little discoveries that I find in there writing. Now, David Sedaris has been around for a while, and if you have had the pleasure of picking up one of his books, then you know what I'm talking about. 

 

(This is one funny gay man)

I love his work because of the real world voice that he bounces in all of our heads. Things we want to say, things that did say, and things we wish we never said. It seems like every time I read one of his stories, I am always left stunned, thinking where does he get this stuff. Or how much I have thought the same way. 

One of my favorite stories is from his book, Me Talk Pretty One Day, in a story called You can't kill the Rooster. If you have ever had a younger sibling that was not subject to the same parenting that you had when you were that age, then you would totally relate to this story. It seems like they could do no wrong, and got a way with cussing in front of your parents, especially when you weren't allowed to.  

The guy is off beat, and way out there in his thoughts, but he really is a great writer, and if you so happen to pick up a book for the fun of it, I recommend that it be one of his. ADR out!!

I'm bringing Magic back

I recently sat through a hour long good-ol-day, hardcore, no can hang, speech from the top dog in my chain of command. He was going on about how much things had changed from his day, and how much more our operations were that much more faster then they were in his day. He went on to say crap about how some of the guys he worked with could not function in today's fast pace work environment we work in today. I really didn't care to listen at all to this punk. He's a douche in the biggest sense of the word. I can't stand him, and I always feel like Dilbert to sit and hear him gab on about crap that no one finds sensible or relevant to our mission or work product. 

But for some reason, in the back of my mind, I couldn't help but want something good to happen just then. I really don't understand how a dinosaur like him can still hold on to rank, without having to go through more training to put him in a position to lead people. Just because you hold onto a job for so long, doesn't make you the best suited for that job. 

And then for some reason, I started thing about myself, and what it would be like when I get to that point in life, when my son becomes my forced audience, and he has to sit through all the old day observations that I will shove down his throat. But what the hell would I have to bitch about that wasn't already solved in the way that by boss made it so clear to point out. That in my day things were run like this, but you guys make it so much more easier, but I'm still going to point out how well you do it, but it's going to be in a nagging pointless tone to it. 

No, but really, magic did cross my mind, and what the hell happened to all the good magicians? Like no one gives a shit if so magician is doing some amazing stunt now-a-days. When I was young, me and my whole family couldn't wait to see a trick preformed on tv. It was like building up to a Sunday football game or something. How do we get back to this? How do I bring magic back. I want my son to understand what it was to wait all week for a Dave Copperfield special. Or real card tricksters, like Ricky Jay. Not this crap that no one even pays attention to anyway. Real magic. 

(This guy does magic, and he rocked a mullet, what a fag, how did he get p@#$y)

And then I stated thinking about my own act. What I could do to get this thing rolling. And at first, I really had nothing. But when you can't beat them, join them. So my act would be like wrecking someone else's act. Like I could go up to the guy at the fair, and he had a jar of jellybeans, and he could ask me to guess how many jellybeans were in the jar? I would tell him, that's not the question you need to be asking, you need to ask how many of those jellybeans I want from that jar? Because if you say it's a handful, you could be right. And that would be my trick. To confuse the audience to no end. 

I encourage all of you to come up with your own magic trick, that way you can help me bring it back. ADR out!!

The Top Five........

This is a new segment that hopefully will be come a regular staple here on ADR every Wednesday. We call it The Top Five. These entries could pertain to a different array of subjects and topics as the way we rank them here at ADR. Please feel free to e-mail with comments and ideas. This weeks Top Five is The Top Five Famous Women named Jennifer.

5. Jennifer Connelly

What a classic beauty and one of the hottest brunettes out there. It gonna be harder to five a better number five.

4. Jennifer Garner

 Mrs. Afflec can beat me anytime she wants.

3. Jennifer Lopez

This latin beauty is still number one in many latinos minds. I would have a hard time disagreeing.

2. Jennifer Love Hewitt

 As my little one's favorite cartoon character would say" WOW,WOW, WOW!"

1. Jennifer Aniston

 Brad Pitt's ex is still hot and in our opinion the Top Jennifer, no questions asked! 

ADR out

Showing some love for our men and women in uniform

There is little to be said about the men and women that put on a uniform everyday that hasn't been said before. The early mornings before the sun comes up, the cold night out in a field exercise. The hard work that goes into training to defend America against enemies foreign and domestic. When a deployment calls, Soldier are found to be ready, professional, and trained to meet the challenges. It can be a strain not only to the Soldier, but on the family as well. The separation only adds to the stress of being away from those they love and the surroundings they find familiar. Not to mention some of our Heros never make it home at all. 

I can tell you there is nothing more of a morale booster to a Soldier then receiving something in the mail while deployed. And even for those coming home that are trying to adjust to a life that has changed, some times for the worst. 

Welcomebackveterans.org gives these brave men and women a form to be heard and what you can do to share your thank yous for the service they give to their country. All gave some, some gave all. ADR continues... 

Those Damn Yankees!

Well the NFL is in full swing, basketball is about to start up but the sport that is about to take center stage is baseball. We have narrowed it down to the two best teams in the post season. The reigning World Series champs, The Philadelphia Phillies, and the team with the most titles in the sport, the evil empire, The New York Yankees. The franchise with the most World Series titles has another chance to win one more. The rich just keeping getting richer. But the difference between past Yankee teams is this team is made up of mostly well compensated mercenaries. Two of their infielder came from different teams. Same goes for their outfield, and their major horses in the pitching staff are high priced arms from other clubs as well. What is most maddening is that two of their best and most highly paid players, Alex Rodriguez and Mark Teixeira, were both at one time team mates on another club, The Texas Rangers. Tom Hicks, the owner, at the time gave A-Rod the richest contract in baseball history and Mark Teixeira was a young and up coming first baseman in the Rangers organization. What do both these men have in common other than their douche bag nature. They are both clients of the baseball anti-christ, Scott Boras.

(Mark Teixeira and A-Roid)

Both of these guys could not wait until they could get out of Texas. Both are douchers and I will be for the next few days be the biggest Phillies fan. It's funny how those Yankee fans were distancing from A-Rod because of his self confessed steroid use. Well he was exposed by ESPN's Selena Roberts in her book, but never the less he admitted to the allegations. But Oh how a chance at a World Series championship far out weighs the crime of illegal steroid use. All I can say about this topic is GO PHILLIES. ADR out!

Add some cheap FX to your next horror indy film

If we haven't said it already, Happy Halloween from America Daily Record. Now, we here at ADR are ferocious film watchers. And we also like to promote filmmakers to get out there and live the dream. But if you find that you are on a tight budget, there are some great ways to find alternatives to big budget FX on a not so big a budget. 

     

(Happy Halloween, this prop is trademarked, so I expect to get paid every time you use it)

Since it is Halloween, I know a lot of you junior filmmakers are looking for ideas for props and gags to spice up your indy horror film. Of if you just want to make a film for the first time thing about this picture. 

(Oprah ready for Trick or Treating, I'm am so scared)

Check out indymogul.com to find some great backyard FX that are pretty simple to pull off, and some great tips and tricks from the pros use to get the effect that you want for your film. They have tons of hoopla that pertain to cheap filmmaking. So if your short on ideas and money, or the what not, keep this page in mind. Make your indy horror film a better horror film. Explore the other content and see step by step features for more on the filmmaking process. 

And remember to have a scary Halloween. ADR out!!

The Beating that is the Jack-O-Lantern.

It's as common as turkey on Thanksgiving, or Santa Clause at Christmas time. It the is the symbol for Halloween. It is the Jack-O-Lantern, or as we like to call it, the Pumpkin. It is a time honored tradition to carve out a Pumpkin just as making cookies are to leave out for Santa Clause on Christmas Eve. I remember as a kid wanting to carve funny faces on my pumpkin. What I didn't realize is the mess we would make and all the hassle of cleaning the pumpkin guts and all those damn seeds. You don't care when your a kid because it is fun getting to get a knife to shank a helpless orange pumpkin. Then getting your hands all dirty with the stringy, sticky, smelly pumpkin. Getting to get a candle and lighter and light up your pumpkin.

Of course you would proudly display your awesome pumpkin on your porch and one of two things would happen with your pumpkin. Some young punks would come along and smash your Jack-o-lantern ( I would know because I was one of those terrible punks) or it would rot from being outside for so long. The flies and the mold would always be a dead give away that it was time to get rid of that pumpkin or sooner or later the smell would get to overpowering that it would stain the concrete. I now realize the Jack-o-lantern is a severe beating. I don't think the reward is worth all the effort. But I guess that is what you have to deal with when messing with tradition. We have come a long way from where the concept of the Jack-o-lantern. The origins have been traced back to the Irish. They would carve turnips and display them to welcome loved ones who had passed. Well I am pretty sure that was so much fun back then because what the hell else were you gonna do. Entertainment isn't what it is now and I could be watching ESPN or a movie or blogging. Instead of cutting up a pumpkin with my little one who could give a crap because she wants to watch WOW WOW WUBBZY. My suggestion for all those who are thinking about doing this. Save yourself the hassle and order a custom carved pumpkin on line from a professional and take all the credit for it. Then sit back in your seat with a cold beer and cut on the Sportscenter. ADR out.

What the hell happened to the Horror genre

Seriously, ADR land, what the hell happened here? Halloween is getting closer, and the more and more I look around and try to get in the mood, the more and more I get disappointed about all the stupid crap in films that the industry has pushed on to us. They try to pass if off as cool, yet thrilling. Who are they trying to kid? I grew up on horror films, and geinually as a kid, I was scared shitless. Who the hell can get scared from seeing two dude vampires kiss. I mean that's a different scary altogether. I don't just blame Ann Rice and that chic who wrote the Twilight trilogy. I don't even blame Harry Potter. I blame Jake Nicholson. Yes, Jake F@#king Nicholson for making one of the worst horror films and opening up the doors for Monsters with no primal instinct about their monstrous nature. 

(Thank you Jack, I want my two hours back, please)

"Wolf" got the ball rolling for suck ass horror films with high production value, and none of the promise to put a brown stain in your drawers. Now we have vampires that have conscious decisions to make on whether to suck the blood of the girl they love or eat a vegan salad. And sadly, they'd rather eat the salad. Suck that bitches blood, man, that's what your suppose to do, dog!! This all has lead to the decline of horror films and what they are originally suppose to stand for. These are transcending ideas of the paranormal world. Things that are suppose to make us creeped out, not want to hump it. 

Really, I understand that not all horror films today are sad to think about. Some are really good. Like the new "Friday, the thirteenth." Hey, maybe I'm on to something here. I should make a movie where Jason has feelings for a chic he goes to high school with. But he's a loner, and a rebel, and all the other kids think he's strange and attractive with that mask on. But the chic understands his teen angst, and instead of chopping that bitch into pieces, like he's wants to, he is conflicted with his love for her. But her father is against it, and he's forced to show his true nature against Freddy who has been wanting to put Jason in his place the whole movie. In the end, love wins out, and Jason puts his killing to bed when he ends Freddy's existence. 

Please, film industry, I am asking that you give us back our bad guy monsters. Give them back their dark and morbid nature and let them kill stupid drunk kids that are so happen to wonder around in the dark corners of large castles. It's just that I'm tired of watching horror films where if you miss a text message your dead. What genius came up with that idea?  ADR out!! 

Defending organized violence

How many of you out there did some crazy backyard fighting when you were growing up, America. Well I did. It all started when I saw the film "Blood Sport." From that day on, I wanted to be Jean Claude Van Damme. Me and my brothers threw a mattress in the garage and started our own Kumote style fighting matches. I have to say that I was the master of the Demmak, then it got boring seeing that it started to be everyone's finishing move. Eventually the film "Rad" had came out, and we moved on to bikes. But I never lost that feeling to just punch a jerk in the face for the rush and release of pinned up young angst.
(No one does it better than Jean Claud Van Damme, can you do the splits, I didn't think so) I wasn't a bully by far. Growing up with four brothers tends to humble you when you find yourself the recipient of the Oriental Spike. When I got older, I found myself infatuated with the great world of organized violence. What ever I could find, wrestling, boxing, football, and the very so entertaining, arm wrestling. Thank you Sly for that great piece of art "Over the Top". Who knew that turning your hat around gave you a total advantage and perspective of life. Nothing gives you that rush in seeing the brutalist of human natures in all these areas of violence. My God father was the great Joe Gomez. He introduced me to what it took to be a boxer. I remember having so many conversations with him about life and boxing. He was always a great inspiration to me, and a true warrior. You can check out his legacy still living on with the Joe Gomez Boxing Club. I got into Army unarmed combatives, of course, when I joined the Army. This opened up a whole new world and got me interested into MMA fighting. It seems like every time I turn on the TV, UFC was everywhere. It has gone mainstream for its toughness, and being more legitimate than pro wrestling.
(Lyoto Machida) Nothing has come out and been such a hit as UFC. It made the word Octagon into a house hold name. I'm not saying that this form of violence is for everyone. But you should try the rear naked choke on your boss, see if he puts amy more reports on your desk to be filed before five. Love it or hate it, organized violence is here to stay. So just crack your knuckles and join the fun. ADR out!!

The Top Ten Most Deadliest things about Texas

Just a little inside info. I've been given the best of oppertunities to travel this great world. Some have been great trips, other not so great there, buddy. But in seems like every where I go, I always can't wait to get back home to my beloved great state of Texas. Like when I was in Ireland, the only thing I could think was, "I could have seen this in Texas." They have always been nice places to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there. 

 

(Texas or Ireland, you tell me??)

When I was in Iraq, I got so may drinking on haterade that I had to create a powerpoint flow chart that had all the great things that pertained to Texas. And I also created the Top Ten Most Deadliest things about Texas. Take a look, tell me you don't agree. They are as follows:

10. The Texas Boarder Patrol

9. The Texas Two Step

8. Texas Stamped 

7. Texas Gun Laws

6. The Texas Judicial System

5. Texas Tornados

4. Texas Hold'em

3. Texas Rattle Snakes

2. Walker Texas Ranger

1. Texas Women

Yes, that's right Texas Women are the most deadliest thing about TEXAS. 

If you find some things more deadlier in Texas, let me know. Now, this don't mean I don't love the rest of America, it just there is nothing more beautiful then the Lone Star State. So suck it, Superman. Cause Kansas sucks, and that no shit. True that to all on this list. ADR out!!

(Sorry, Walker, you would have been #1, but the snatch wins every time)